The Whole Truth

Lastly, in breaking down the word “for-give-ness” let’s take a look at “ness”. This word is a native En - glish suffix which is attached to adjectives exempli - fying quality and state and/or condition. Please un - derstand – it is not what we do that matters as much as how we do what matters most. I am sure that phrase sounds quite confusing but in simple terms – if we are saying I forgive you or please forgive me as

a means to an end instead of an end to a means, we just wasted our time, effort, and breath. God knows our heart and if we are not genuinely repentant for our mistakes or we are not genuine in our pardon, God will hold us accountable and will deal with us accordingly. In Mark 11:26 Jesus states, “But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.”

In closing, I want to share this very personal testimony about “The Danger of Pride and the Power of Forgive - ness” that I shared in a blog over a year ago in hopes that someone will be healed from the emotional bondage that is holding them back from all God has for them. “The song says “He Touched Me” and my God, He did just that! I needed to release some things, let go of some emotional bondage, and let go of issues that were at the pinnacle of my rapid decline. But I didn’t know HOW to let go. Yes, the Evangelist Missionary DID NOT know how to break free from the chains Satan had bound me with for 2 1/2 years. You’ll say, well you didn’t believe the Word . . . .yes I did. You’ll say, well you didn’t pray . . . yes I did. You’ll say, well you should have fasted over the situation . . . . did that too. However, I did it all with the wrong motive. See, I wanted God to change the other individual. I wanted Him to help them see the light. And all the while I was praying for God to do something in them, I should have been saying, “Lord, destroy this selfish, SINFUL pride in me.” So, consequently, every time they did ANYTHING that appeared negative, I felt their actions were directed to ward me to make me look bad, or to discredit me, or to disempower me. See, pride is like a fungus. There’s healthy pride and toxic pride. My pride was toxic, poison to my spirit. And, this toxin had literally consumed every aspect of my being which means it had literally interfered with my relationship with the Lord. Pride had shut His ears, God’s ears, to my deceitful pleas. Listen, I would wake up with the issue on my mind, go to bed with it on my mind. I couldn’t open my mouth to have decent conversation with family, let alone friends, without this negativity monopolizing the discussion. I was sick with pride. I perpetrated humbleness, having taught over it, danced over it, spoke in a tongue over it, all the while yet harboring hurt, yet feeling offended, yet feeling like a victim. Not only had pride overtaken me, but fear had too. I say this because all the while this poison was running through my vein, I was too afraid to go to the individuals I felt offended me, and settle the matter as a saint. I was afraid I would look or sound stupid, I was afraid I wouldn’t be taken seriously, I was actually afraid I would be isolated. So, I lived a lie and that lie only caused me to become more hurt, angrier, and eventually bitter–all because of my PRIDE . One day, I called a friend to explain to her how I was going to approach the problem and resolve the issue once and for all. She listened. When I finished, she basically did me like Nathan did David after his sin against Uriah. She didn’t use a sheep story but she reminded me of how long I had been “harping” on this subject and that it was time to let go, ignore it, and move forward. She didn’t say she was tired of hearing about it, but by the time the Lord finished speaking through her, I could quickly see that He, too, was tired of hearing about the situation. Thank God for a little faith to hang on to. I admitted to my sister that I didn’t know how to let go. Then, I said these words to her that made me realize just how far off course I had become– “Let go and replace it with what?” See how ridiculous pride can make you look and sound?

38 THEWHOLE TRUTH